Caution: Graphic Content

Well I have just arrived home from hospital after spending the night there as I had to have a minor op. Nothing serious so don't worry and I won't bore you with the gory details, I will, however share with you my experiences of the last 24 hours.

In the beginning I knew there was going to trouble as I'd lost all of my admittance papers and had to figure out a way to explain this to the nurses and hospital administration in my very limited Korean and a fair amount of mime. Starting off at information, Summer, who had thank goodness come with me to share in the experience, and I tried to explain to the poor girl behind the desk. Realising that we were getting nowhere we proceeded to the ward where I was supposed to be admitted. It took about one hour, 2 rides in elevators, and a team of 4 nurses, a social worker, a surgeon, an administrator and a nun to get me settled in. I had signed about 4 things, none of which I had the foggiest about and Summer had signed away something herself. Maybe to say that she is fine with giving me one of her kidneys should need be in the course of events. We were shuffled into a little exam room and I was given a lovely hospital outfit consisting of a button up top and a long skirt to wear. Sitting next to each other on the bench considering what was going to happen next Summer decidedly stated, "It's so not like Greys Anatomy."

hospitals in Korea are quite similar to British hospitals in the sense that you share a ward with about 8 people. I understand American hospitals are quite dissimilar and Americans tend to be quite shocked with this state of affairs. Well I was quite the celebrity. As soon as I was escorted to my bed the room fell silent, but for the whine of the young lady of the Korean Drama on the TV. Which, by the way, stayed on until about 1am. I was hooked up to an IV and Summer and I settled into a game or two of Rummikub.

My roommates were a mixed bag. There was a very very old lady who just slept for the whole time, a woman next to me who had more visitors than I could shake a stick at. Her husband stayed all night in a little bed next to her, he was the happiest man in all of the world and fascinated by our game. A young girl across from me who had clearly been there for a while and was getting quite sick and tired of it all. Her father also stayed all night with her. In Korean hospitals the family is expected to look after you, the patient. There are nurses but their jobs seem to be solely changing drips and administering drugs. Baths, getting food, drinks and general care is the job of the family and people are traiping in and out all day and night kids massaging mothers, husbands taking care of wives, it really did make you feel good to see so much care and love. There are also pull out beds under each bed for a friend or family to sleep on through the night. The Koreans were most concerned that my family was absent and one nurse exclaimed incredulously, "But who is going to look after you tomorrow?!" I assured her that my wonderful friend Gwen would be there and she would look after me. Unsure, the nurse accepted this with a questioning look. The woman next to me shouted at anyone who dared to get in between her and the TV, she was also the most interested in me, the strange white girl with no family.

All things considered I slept reasonably, awoke at 6am and was given a lovely new outfit to wear at 7am. I was wheeled to the operating room at 8.30 still rubbing sleep from my eyes. I was told that they would prepare "me" and then administer the anaesthetic which would make me fall asleep. OK all good. I'm not nervous. I'm going to be asleep. Well first of all "prepare me" meant they spreadeagled me on the table and tied my hands and legs down with cloths. I must admit I felt a little strange. then they pulled open my gown and saw my tattoos.Three very audible gasps followed by a Ohhh!! Ippuda!!! (meaning beautiful in Korean" Now, I am laying spreadeagled on an operating table with my limbs tied, half naked and being oohed! and ahhed! at by three nurses. I had to laugh. well after a while the doctor came in and the anaesthetic was administered. What followed was in the top ten of my most embarrassing moments. Right above accidentally stripping to my birthday suit when getting changed for PE in grade 2 because I was talking too much and not paying attention to what I was doing. I wasn't completely sleeping. I was very out of it but i was aware and i could feel a bit so I started to worry and kept saying, "I can feel I don't want to be awake, I need more drugs..." The nurse at my side was stoking my leg saying "It's OK, don't worry, It's OK" Except I didn't hear her voice or see her, I saw and heard one of my best friends and declared, "I love you!" it slowly dawned on me what I had done and tried then in my delirious state to explain. mortified. The nurse completely didn't understand my drugged ramblings and I settled for trying to convince myself that she must have seen and heard a few crazy rantings in her time in the ER.

Well Gwen was waiting for me when I came out so I could share my embarrassment. The rest of the day has been spent lost in translation until eventually Gwen's husband Mike arrived. Mike can speak Korean. You should have seen the look of relief on the administrator's face.

It was so not like Greys; it was totally MASH.