Wednesday, 23 April 2008

On living my life and not just waiting for it.

I watched a movie the other night called PS I Love You. I cried literally from the beginning to the end. It was a romance and had some funny moments and wasn't a particularly good example of good cinematography but the plot kept on picking me up and then throwing me straight back down in the gutter. It was about a woman whose husband had died of a brain tumor. Before he died he wrote her a number of letters which he, through her mother, planned to deliver to her after his death to help her to move on with her life. First of all How incredibly romantic and sad and loving is that? Second of all this woman had been living her life without direction as if she is waiting for her real life to begin, kind of reminds me of a song by Colin Hay called Waiting for my Real Life to Begin...



Which also makes me cry.


His letters help her to pull herself together and live her life. I suppose I relate to that. I suppose that's why I cried. I forget sometimes with all of my student loans and plans for the future and wondering if I'm really doing what I want and taking the right paths that life is actually happening now.

Thirdly it made me think of lost loves. I just wrote a paragraph and deleted it again... I'm not ready to share that just yet.


It wasn't that it was such an amazing movie but the message was quite pertinent to my life. I have felt recently that I'm in limbo. I need to stay in Korea until I finish my MA but really really want to move on. I used to be like this when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, wishing to be older and at a further stage in my career/life without stopping to enjoy where I was. I think lots of people do this. I notice myself doing it and wish I could just slow down a bit and notice what's going on around me. Stop making plans for a moment and settle into what I am doing right now. I think we all know that wouldn't make me happy though. I do need to try harder to enjoy the moment however and I am going to endeavor to do so instead of constantly searching for my real life to begin I want to be more involved in this one. This starts with writing my damn essay. And liking it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Often life takes a firm grip of us and suddenly we stop and assess what's around us: what are we doing, and how did we get here and where will this lead to? We never know what paths life will lead us on and how our lives can change in an instant. All these 'right paths' are part of the bigger picture, a journey into infinity and who knows what that will bring. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture babe, and I think your journey thus far, though containing many paths of varying lengths and gradients, has been plentiful and rewarding for yourself and people that you've met on your journey xxx

Anonymous said...

Don't know if you're a fan but thought this was pretty apt...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOJPvxgkvn8

'Sometimes it seems like lately, I just don't know, better sit back and go, With the flow....'

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