Not dead, just been away inside my head

Hmmm, life seems to have taken a turn, after the drama that was the first 6 months of 2008 it seems like a strange dream, after emotions, hospitals, nappies, blood, depression, and more health problems with my Lupus I feel like I have been handed happiness on a plate. I am in a constant state of confusion, awe, and feeling like the luckiest person on the face of the planet. I pinch myself on a regular basis just to check. But this is happening. It really, really is. I just felt like shouting it out from my blog, because I don't have a mountain, well I do but too many Koreans doing their early morning exercises would be incredibly confused by the crazy foreigner. So apparently it exists, and this is it. I am completely, totally and utterly, head over heels in love with the most wonderful man in the entire world (or so he tells me).

Although I'm saying no more as my horoscope told me to... ;)

Capricorn
Tuesday, July 8

Try not to share too many secrets with your friends and coworkers today. Not everyone has your best interests in mind. There are very few people you can put your trust in.

I have no words.

Tribune news services

May 29, 2008

Dunkin' Donuts has canceled an online advertisement featuring celebrity chef Rachael Ray after complaints that a scarf she wore in the ad offers symbolic support for terrorism.

Dunkin' Donuts said Wednesday it pulled the ad over the weekend because of what it calls a "misperception" about the scarf that detracted from its original intent to promote its iced coffee.

Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf appeared to be traditional garb worn by Arab men. The ad's critics say such scarves have come to symbolize Muslim extremism and terrorism.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-rachael-ray-dunkin-donuts,0,6304563.story

Detox Day #1 part 2

OK, so I may have eaten the last chocolate biscuit this afternoon. But tomorrow I will do better.

Detox Day #1

I decided to start a Detox today. There are a number or reasons behind this. Firstly Summer started one and I was inspired. Secondly, I did a "how much do you need a detox?" test and scored 81%, there were flashing lights, alarms and sirens too. Thirdly, I eat crap and shouldn't and fourthly I did one before and lost loads of weight and I need to fit into my bikini in July.

I thought it best that I wrote about it on my blog because I feel I need to be accountable to someone: I am very good at talking myself in and out of things so recording the days' progress will make sure I don't talk myself out of it, because let's face it, no chocolate, no coffee, no wine, no chips, no red meat, well, that's just impossible, right? what am I doing? I need all these things. (see)

So far today I have eaten a pear, a few rice crackers (well more than a few but the detox doesn't give a limit, so I'm not cheating, right?) and a lettuce and tuna salad. I plan on eating a bowl of rice with broccoli for dinner. I have drunk 3 cups of lemon water, a glass of rice milk and a vegetable juice. I expect I will spend the night on the loo.

There's a box of chocolate digestives and a box of Walkers shortbread in my cupboard. I haven't had the strength to give them away yet, It's like throwing out those pants that have the hole in, you know you should but it's just too painful to part with them.

Only 2 months to go...

So, it's been a while.

My absence has been due to one main factor. My studies. A little bit has happened since I wrote last I will try and condense the last week so I can get back to writing my essay, no offence it's just that I'm paying 370 pounds a month for this damn MA so I'd better bloody well get a worthwhile grade at the end!

So I have mostly been a hermit staying in to write papers, read articles, and search online for new articles to pad out the references section of my 5000 word essay. And by the way: That's a lot of words. I'm halfway through but I think I'll probably rewrite it before the 19th, when it's due. My horoscope might make sense if I had actually done anything today that involved me meeting anyone...

Capricorn: An exciting new person will enter your life today. Good things will happen because you let them into your life.

Oh! No! Wait a minute, I ordered a pizza and I let the delivery man in! He wasn't very exciting, or new, I have seen him many a time before, but the pizza was certainly a good thing! And anyway, the day's not over yet.

I have applied for a job and been offered a new contract at my current job so that's quite exciting. The job I applied for is a consultant position at Oxford University Press which would take me away from teaching students and plop me in front of teachers. scary. Actually I was planning on applying for jobs in publishing as soon as I finish my MA: Oxford, Cambridge, you know: the major ELT publishers. I was looking at Editor positions and would be perfectly qualified for a junior of assistant position. This job is just another way in. The thing is: I'm not sure if I'm completely ready to leave teaching yet. Doing my MA has made me more excited about teaching ad trying out new things in the classroom. Its a moot point at the moment though because I haven't even had an interview yet.

I have bought my ticket home for the summer and also sneakily managed to wangle a few days in Spain! Yay!! Something to look forward to.

The cat ran off for a day but came back at 2.30 am. Little witch. She chose to knock on the door and sit waiting for me to get up and open it instead on using the open window. Little witch.

Finally, I exceeded my record number of cups of tea in one day.
So that's all for now. Back to work. No rest for the wicked. I wanna finish so I can watch Desperate Housewives tonight.
Love

Korean Style Protest

I don't mean to sound culturally insensitive but I read the New York Times today about the Olympic torch being carried though Seoul and the protests and scuffle that ensued between the Chinese supporters and Koreans: Two men, North Korean defectors, tried to set light to themselves in protest at the inhumane treatment of North Korean refugees in China. This is one form of protest that I cannot understand. In Korea it is common for a protest to get out of hand, there are so many. People have been known to set themselves on fire, cut off their fingers and throw themselves to their demise in the Han River. I mean I understand the gravity of the situation and how strongly people feel about it, as they should; it is horrendous what goes on in North Korea and the International governments choose to ignore the gross inhumanity. But, why kill yourself? Especially after you managed to escape from the regime... Surely you could do more good alive? Maybe I'm missing the point.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/28/world/asia/28korea.html?ex=1367121600&en=91dd28c0f94c93bd&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Grump Slump

December 22 ~ January 20

Capricorn: Laughter is the best medicine! Seeing your funniest friend will cheer you up tremendously. .

Sarah Calderwood's

I have been an extremely grumpy person for the past couple of days. Mostly I'm sure due to the amount of work I have to do and hormones and having felt sick as a dog from eating a mouldy muffin. As usual I thought the horoscope could have the answer. The trouble is I'm also feeling very antisocial and am sure that if I do go and find my funniest friend all that will end up happening is that I will drag them down into my bog of eternal grump and there's no sense in the both of us hanging out there. Instead I am staying firmly rooted at my desk and writing for my MA. It's been 6 hours so far and I can do another 6. OR I could just pour myself a big glass of wine and snap out of it... hmmm

Wisdom

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen. - John le Carre

I just read this quote and found it rather relevant. In fact my quotes for the day on my igoogle homepage are all rather wonderful today.


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. - Dave Barry


Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower

On living my life and not just waiting for it.

I watched a movie the other night called PS I Love You. I cried literally from the beginning to the end. It was a romance and had some funny moments and wasn't a particularly good example of good cinematography but the plot kept on picking me up and then throwing me straight back down in the gutter. It was about a woman whose husband had died of a brain tumor. Before he died he wrote her a number of letters which he, through her mother, planned to deliver to her after his death to help her to move on with her life. First of all How incredibly romantic and sad and loving is that? Second of all this woman had been living her life without direction as if she is waiting for her real life to begin, kind of reminds me of a song by Colin Hay called Waiting for my Real Life to Begin...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HNFsI5y270&feature=related

Which also makes me cry.

His letters help her to pull herself together and live her life. I suppose I relate to that. I suppose that's why I cried. I forget sometimes with all of my student loans and plans for the future and wondering if I'm really doing what I want and taking the right paths that life is actually happening now.

Thirdly it made me think of lost loves. I just wrote a paragraph and deleted it again... I'm not ready to share that just yet.

It wasn't that it was such an amazing movie but the message was quite pertinent to my life. I have felt recently that I'm in limbo. I need to stay in Korea until I finish my MA but really really want to move on. I used to be like this when I was a teenager and in my early 20s, wishing to be older and at a further stage in my career/life without stopping to enjoy where I was. I think lots of people do this. I notice myself doing it and wish I could just slow down a bit and notice what's going on around me. Stop making plans for a moment and settle into what I am doing right now. I think we all know that wouldn't make me happy though. I do need to try harder to enjoy the moment however and I am going to endeavor to do so instead of constantly searching for my real life to begin I want to be more involved in this one. This starts with writing my damn essay. And liking it.

I was right

To,

Sarah professor

Thank you so much , Professor :D I am so sorry. I didn't know that. I won't anymore. If it was rude , I hope that you understand me. Sorry about that. Please forgive me with your generous mind.

Sincerely,

Kun

She also came to class with soda and chocolate for me.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

It is midterm week. The most infuriating week of the semester whereby I get to sit and watch my students have conversations in English. The week didn't start off too badly, i even noticed that many students had in fact prepared hard and were sailing through the conversations quite fluently. It is now Wednesday and I feel like rubbing chili paste in my eyes would be preferable to sitting through these unprepared, muddled, sleep deprived students' attempts at speaking English. The reason I am in such a good mood is probably due to a case of PMS and the feeling that my time could be better spent. I will never get back these long minutes of my life and I'm not getting any younger.

I also have an essay due in a month which I am no nearer to finishing than I was a month ago, AND a new course has started this week so I am expected to actually do some work. The essay will have to be started this weekend. procrastination time is officially over and desperation has kicked in.

I have also been invited to apply for a new job. It would mean a little redirection in my career, going from teaching to ELT consultant at Oxford University Press in Seoul. It's the direction I want to go in, eventually getting an editor's position when I finish my MA but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do to move now while I'm in the middle of my MA. It would also be more like a "real" job working 9-5 instead of loafing in to the classroom every now and then. Of course I haven't been offered the job, just to apply, but...

On top of that my horoscope couldn't be more wrong today:

December 22 ~ January 20

Capricorn: You will be tempted by something naughty today, but you'll have enough willpower to restrain yourself. .

Today I have consumed:

A bacon sandwich, 3 cups of tea, a cup of coffee, an ice cream and plan to order fried chicken and munch on chocolate in one hour. I wonder if I will turn into a butterfly...

Lazy Little Witch

The damn cat spends the early hours of the morning running around the apartment and flirting with the cats outside and the day sleeping in my bed.

Yellow Dust

I have laryngitis, bronchitis and I've lost my voice. The medicine is giving me a dodgy tummy and the cat is not looking after me. My camera has broken and I'm way behind on my essay. Everyone in South Korea is getting sick at the moment because of China. Blame China.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_Dust

http://english.kbs.co.kr/news/zoom/1348045_11781.html

Today we have an amber alert. Not sure what that means but I'm coughing up amber colored chunks...

http://www.seoul.amedd.army.mil/sites/yellowsand/default.asp

Too much information? Oh well.

Bed time now. My chest hurts.

Sound Advice

Thursday, April 10
The things that were running smoothly yesterday have a strong chance of unraveling today. Enlist the help of people who will help you to achieve your objectives. You must work hard to build a loyal group of allies. Your focus today should be on networking.

I suppose that means I should go to the pub tonight.

Day Off

I'm still trying to decipher yesterday's horoscope and have still to come up with a clear meaning. Actually the thing is I thought of doing lots of naughty things yesterday, for example: I had to study but I wanted to watch television; I had to get up early today but I wanted to stay up late last night; I had chastised CJ for cheating on computer Scrabble but I myself felt the urge to press the hint button; I want to lose some weight but I really wanted to eat that fifth cookie. The only one I didn't do was cheat on Scrabble. I justify the others by the fact that it was a public holiday and I didn't have to work. Okay, okay, okay, I'm a bad person.

Today's Horoscope

December 22 ~ January 20

Capricorn: You know the difference between right and wrong, so there shouldn't even be a question. You know what to do. .

Why I need to read my horoscope earlier...

I Don't usually use the toilets at the university because firstly they are squatty Asian toilets and secondly my apartment is only a 30 second walk from my office. However, when needs must and all that. The toilets conveniently have a metal rail in front of them so you can hang on instead of balancing precariously over the bowl. I was in a bit of a hurry and what with the pulling down of the trousers and arranging myself in the appropriate position I completely forgot to balance and when I toppled I neglected to put my hands out to stop myself, instead using my head. Which now has a little lump on it and is rather painful.

A few hours later I read my horoscope...

Today's Horoscope

December 22 ~ January 20

Capricorn: Your balance and coordination will be off, so be extra careful you don't get hurt. .

And that is why I need to read my horoscope earlier.

SNOW!!!!

I can't believe it:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2639171.stm

I can believe it:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2708369.stm

Advice too late...

I knew I shouldn't have sent my student that email explaining why she couldn't call me "Sir".

Today's Horoscope

December 22 ~ January 20

Capricorn: Don't have any important conversations over IM or email if you don't want to be misunderstood. .

The Little Witch Before and After

It's been a year since I brought her home and my, hasn't she grown!

Cultural Lesson #2

How to eat a raw octopus...

Yes; it's real.

Can someone please explain this to me? I mean I understand the whole patch on the backpack and that it is law for Canadians to get a maple leaf tattoo but... um...

How I have changed because of Korea

I now have no qualms about eating food right off somebody else's plate without asking first.

I think foreigners smell like milk.

I think all white people look the same.

I recognize"sleep"as a hobby.

I feel it is perfectly acceptable to stop dead in the middle of a path in front of others.

A shopping trolley is a weapon

As are elbows.

If it doesn't have chili in it, it has no taste.

I will pay $400 to fly 1 hour to China/Japan and have given up ranting about easyjet/bmi/ryan air's cheap flight deals.

I'm no longer shocked when I see a man carrying his wife's/girlfriend's handbag, wearing her shoes and wearing a pink t-shirt whilst walking down the street.

I no longer feel under dressed climbing the mountain because I too have the Northface walking shoes and backpack even though there are steps to the top and food and drink stalls on the way.

I am more open to new experiences; especially after a bottle of soju.

I get confused when someone says they don't have a mobile phone: How on earth will you survive? and how will I ever be able to arrange to meet you?!

The Internet is a part of me, like a leg. I could learn to live without it if I lost it: but why would I willingly cut off my leg?!

If something can't be delivered it's not worth having.

I recognise Canada as a country and not just a rather large American state.

I've developed a North American accent and have started saying things like "Y'all" and "Eh" without flinching.

Cultural Lesson #1

In Korea when having your photo taken it is the law that you do the peace sign, although here it doesn't mean peace, it means victory. and say "kimchi!" I am sporting the reverse "V" because I'm too cool for school. Zac behind me is too busy looking at my boobs and doesn't notice the camera, had he seen that one was in fact pointed in his direction he would have probably done the "Double V" whereby he performs in the same manner as Eoghan (behind me) but with both hands. Chris(Green shirt) is not trying to do the "bunny ears" to Eoghan as he is American and that would be a British thing to do.

And Another Thing...

I have been watching too much Boston Legal recently. I have begun to confuse reality with fiction. aggggghhhhhhh!!!! get me out of here!

Bridget Jones Eat Your Heart Out

I'm feeling really emotional at the moment and I can't seem to snap out of it. I am feeling really lost but I'm not sure why because everything in my life is pretty good. I have a great job; I'm working towards being better qualified so I can get an even greater job; I have great friends and family and a support network. I'm going to go away for a couple of days to try to put some semblance of order back in my mind. As well as that I'm going to spring clean my apartment and see if order in my space can transfer itself!! Then I'm going to buy a big bunch of yellow flowers. Lastly I'm going to make a batch of chocolate brownies and eat the lot!

I guess I miss home right now. Well actually I miss family and friends at home. It gets kind of tough being here sometimes. I don't want anyone to worry because the feelings will pass soon enough. It's just far away from people I love.

In the last few months I have gone through quite a lot which at the time I didn't really think about until after the events. You know when they say "it's just one thing after another"? Well I know that's just life but seriously! AND I hate feeling sorry for myself. So, I think I'll pick myself off, brush myself off, pop a couple of band aids on my knees and go back to being happy Sarah. After I eat the brownies.

Penguin Zombies

I have these damn penguins on my igoogle homepage and I can't stop playing with them. If you move your mouse around the screen they follow it. I sit there for ages moving my mouse in circles to make them dizzy. They look just like penguin zombies. Creepy.

Wait

While waiting for my last class of the day to start I have won 2 games of Catan against the computer, the exchange rates have started to go back to normal, I called the publishers to arrange a sales meeting, fiddled around with facebook, and I taught some students who were early for class some msn abbreviations. Altogether a productive hour.

Happy Easter

It's Easter Monday and I have the day off for the first time in 4 years. The only reason I do is because I work at a Catholic University, may not be Catholic, but I'll take the extra holidays, thanks! A second first for me in Korea was receiving Easter eggs in the street! The first was handed to me when I walked past a church yesterday and another on a subway. Granted they are not chocolate, they are just boiled eggs with little wrappers but it's the thought that counts.

I spent Easter Sunday eating chocolate cake and Strawberry Cheesecake and looking at art with Mike. I left Mike snivelling, grumpy and disgusting, not because he had to spend the afternoon with me, because of the spring cold which I have yet managed to avoid. You know I've spoken too soon don't you? Tomorrow's post will be a photo of me with snot running out of my nose.

Oh! Another first in Korea yesterday, which I forgot to take a photo of was a store in Hongdae (a trendy university area) called "Condomania" selling condoms in all shapes and sizes... even British Durex... I know this will not mean much to people at home but people in Korea will understand the relevance of this... It's on the same side of the road as The university, down the hill about 50 metres.

Last night we played Sunday Night Catan with Gio and Joanna. A lot of fun but I was tired after a long weekend and VERY argumentative with CJ. He took it well. By that I mean he just didn't say anything. We both agreed that I needed to take myself and my hormones to a quiet place. Well, I left and he probably breathed a sigh of relief.

I also made a new friend on Facebook. And by new friend I mean new, old friend who I used to go to school with. Chloe Blemings it's been a long time. I also saw that she was friends with my best friend from elementary school. I realised adding her would be pointless as she probably still hates me for being so mean to her in school. Facebook takes up too much of my time.

And all of this makes perfect sense reading my horoscope from yesterday retrospectively:

Sunday, March 23

Capricorn

Sarah,You may find that you are both making and losing friends today. You and your significant other could be arguing and agreeing at the same time. You can expect the unexpected from the people in your life, as well as people that you meet on the street.

The rest of the weekend was okay: I finished another semester of my MA so I took a few days to relax before I start the daunting task of starting my 5000 word paper. I've got some time off from online work so I should make the most of it and get stuck in. Scary.

As today is Sunday #2 I should get some laundry in and plan some lessons. Perhaps I'll just make another cup of tea first...

on the problem with working abroad when The USA's economy goes belly up.

Korean Won compared to British Pound. Arse.

Ordering food in Korea

In Korea you can order pretty much anything to be delivered pretty much anywhere. For free. Food, beer, coffee, your shopping: You name it and there's a man with a scooter who will most obligingly bring it to your front door, or roof, beach, or park should you so wish.

I have had pizza delivered to the classroom, park, the woods and the beach. I have even had chicken delivered to a seafood restaurant (some of our party didn't eat fish and rather than turn down all of the business the owner ordered fried chicken for us too), Beer delivered to the roof and all kinds of food delivered to my door. What's more there is usually no minimum charge and if there is it's usually only 5 dollars. There is even a coffee delivery service, although what is actually delivered is a pretty girl who makes "coffee". Yeah, you get it.

When you order food it comes in real bowls or on plates with metal cutlery. You are expected to leave the plates or bowls and cutlery outside your apartment door for the delivery guy to pick up later. Now that is what I call civilized! No washing up, no mess.

I am rambling about this now because I am hungry and I can't decide what to order... Korean, chicken, pizza, Chinese... Oh the possibilities.

scruffy pair

she's a little witch but I love her

Consumerism at its Best

Today is White Day in Korea. It is a month after Valentines Day and another excuse for the shops to stock fancy chocolates. On Valentines Day in Korea women give a gift, usually chocolates to men. On White Day the gifts travel in the opposite direction... Korea has really cottoned on to the fabulous money making opportunities of mass consumerism.

The 14th of next month is Black Day. On this day single people should get together and eat noodles with black bean sauce, JaJangMyun.

Wait, there's more... May 14th is Rose Day, where couples exchange roses.

June 14th is Kiss Day, I think you are getting the gist.

July 14th is Silver day and you have to exchange something silver with that special person.

August 14th is my favourite, a special holiday for the Soju companies - couples escape to the outdoors whilst singles should drown their sorrows in a bottle or two of the favourite Korean tipple.

The next 4 months bring Photo Day, Wine Day, Movie Day and Hug Day, and these are only the 14th days of the month.

Let's not forget November 11th: Pepero Day. A pepero is a biscuit stick covered with chocolate. Sales of this skinny snack got through the roof. Schools have had to ban peperos on that day. In one of my most memorable Pepero day experiences the fat kid at the back of my class projectile vomited pepero down the class aisle. More and more companies are getting on the bandwagon. July 11th, for example, is 7-11 day (dedicated to the convenience store).

The strangest part of it all though is that in a country that has the largest amount of Christians per capita than any other country in the world, Christmas and Easter still remain very low key. I mean Easter eggs! Come on Korea; you're missing out on a fantastic opportunity!

Happy White Day!

Jim Jill Bangin'

One of the things I love about Korea is the Jim Jil Bangs (bath houses). I spent this evening scrubbing myself and lounging around in baths of green tea. I feel refreshed and shiny now, and all for 5 dollars. It is a uniquely Korean experience captured perfectly in the painting above. friends hang out, families come and scrub each other, some people just come alone to relax. It can be a "start your day off right" activity or a relaxing end of the day "soak the stress away". The main thing is that anything goes. It is perfectly acceptable for the woman scrubbing herself next to you to hand you her towel and ask you for a back rub. Some take it further and pay the "adjumma" (older woman who works at the sauna) to scrub and massage and walk on their backs. Others wander around exercising, some chill in the cold pool, some lay around on the stone floor. A group for adjummas gossip in the sauna.

There are usually a couple of rows of showers, stand up and sit down and a number of different baths: hot, cold, tea, ginseng, REALLY hot lemon water for skin whitening... There is a routine: shower, scrub, shave, scrub more, maybe massage, baths and sauna followed by shower. That's not all though, most bath houses have a TV in the changing room and women lounge around watching soap operas .

If you want to there is a communal area and you are provided with shorts and T-shirt to wear there where you can buy a beer and eat hard boiled eggs. The women who work there were all wearing bedroom lingerie.. this I couldn't figure out, they are lounging around in lacy leopard print panties or satin slips. It has been the same in all of the jim jil bangs (bath houses) that I have been to and I cannot figure it out... maybe they just don't get the chance to wear that kind of thing at home...

There are usually rooms for sleeping and you are able to spend the night as they are usually 24 hours. It's ideal if you get caught in another part of the city and miss the last train or bus home, a good soak and blanket at the Jim Jil Bang is certainly the cheapest way to go. The first time I stayed in the Sauna the night was an experience. I was handed a wooden brick for... a pillow! a blanket, a pair of white shorts and a T-shirt.

I started off trying to get to sleep on a straw mat in a room with extreme floor heating surrounded by about 30 other people. I took myself off the the toilet at one point mistakenly leaving my "pillow" and blanket behind. I returned to find the man who was next to my spot cuddling up with my blanket. I was tired and if I'm honest I had a little bit of a short fuse so I tried to grab my blanket back, the "pillow" he was welcome to, but the little sod decided to put up a fight, one which I wasn't going to lose. I didn't. Wrapping myself up in my blanket I tried to go to sleep. However my blanket thief wasn't going to give up that easily, He started snoring. Loudly. In fact it seemed that everyone was in on it, a symphony of snores and snorts and snuffles filled the room. I picked up my blanket and left them to it.

I had lost the war.

I took myself out to the communal area which was dark by now, I stepped over sleeping bodies and found a sleeping space. I nestled myself under a glass table. As I was gradually waking up in the morning I gradually opened my eyes to see something which looked like a scene from a nuclear disaster, bodies sprawled out all over the place, people had found the strangest of sleeping positions some of which I couldn't even understand how they had put themselves there. Everyone was wearing matching white shorts and T-shirt sets. It was just all too surreal especially after only a couple of hours sleep.

This evening was far more relaxing however. and next week I will certainly be getting that aroma scrubbing/massage. I think the back walking can wait though.

An excuse to put a picture of House on my blog

I started a new class today, it's an adult class with 13 students aged from early 20s to about 60. They all seem lovely, and not just because they are in love with my accent. All of them want me to train them how to speak with a British accent. It's funny because I'm actually losing my accent and am frequently speaking more and more in an American accent. Sorry Emily it's true. It's not even conscious anymore. The reasons for this disgrace are threefold. Firstly when I arrived in Korea oh so many years ago I was specifically asked to teach American English and an American accent. A request which I actually ignored in the beginning but which leads on to the second reason: When I spoke to Koreans in my "beautiful" British accent (My student's words, don't shoot the messenger) they couldn't understand me. Actually when I spoke to Americans and Canadians they couldn't understand me either SO, I would have to repeat myself:

Me: "Could I have some water?" (read in posh British)

American: (blank stare)

Me: "Water" (read in Texan drawl 'cos that's my favourite American accent)

American: Oh! Water!!!

Me: Yes that's what I said.

So to save time I lengthened my vowels and didn't pronounce my 't's, instead I would pronounce the 'r'at the end of words which I would normally not need to bother myself with. This leads on perfectly to point 3. Because so many Americans and Canadians work here and because the majority of Koreans speak English with an American accent, my accent has become assimilated... I wonder if this has happened to Hugh Laurie too... I realised this today and want to reclaim it! I want to apologise for neglecting you accent. I will endeavour to treat you better.

Watch out Korea, the Amazon starts small but look where that ends up. First it's 13 students, before you know it I'll have the whole of Korea speaking English properly.

Beyond Murphy's Law

Clearly not satisfied with the amount of attention that I have been getting recently, I decided to break my tooth. On a peanut butter (smooth) sandwich (soft crusts). I have no words.

Is someone trying to send me a message??? Whose birthday did I forget? Please stop sticking the pins in the doll, I promise to be good...

So after the dentist I am going to the pub. I think I deserve it.

And the prize for...

I'm home and I'm getting better. I don't want to talk about it. At least I know what day it is now.

Most used phrases: Pee many many!!! (there's lots of blood) Many Many Appayo!!!! (it hurts a lot!!!!)


Most scared person in Bucheon: CJ


Best friends in all of the world: Mine


Most amount of sleep in one day: 20 hours


Best boss: Mine


Most embarrassing speeches whilst under the influence of anaesthetic: Me


Funniest ER experience: (Korean ERs have an electronic board on display with names and afflictions... in English. I was right between the bog bite and soju man, and no: I'm not telling you what it said just yet.


Most embarrassing, can't talk about it yet, diaper experience: Me


Closest person to making a break for Incheon Airport: Me


Most painful experience: paying at the discharge counter.



Best making light of it all moment: "Summer!!!! My pee burns going in!!!!" (OK Korean joke: pee =blood in Korean) while getting blood transfusion, who knew it would hurt!!???


So I'm done attention seeking in Korean hospitals. Phew.

Enough Said...

10 Things I've Learned in the Last Week

1. No matter where you are the pizza delivery man can always find you.


2. It doesn't matter if you don't do your dishes for 3 days so long as nobody knows.


3. I am incapable of losing CATAN no matter how hard I try.


4. Snow is like a Christmas puppy, people get all excited for the first day but soon realise the responsibilities and the stinky yukkiness on your shoes associated with it after a few days.


5. A watched blog never gets any comments.


6. Koreans find it strange that we DON'T eat pickles with pizza.


7. Eskimos don't exist and they don't live in igloos. (very disappointing, not quite sure what to do with this one.)


8. If you don't understand just smile and nod. Something will end up happening and whatever it is, it will be an experience.


9. Web cams perform a lot more efficiently before you throw them to the ground.


10. No matter what, there will be some A**hole in the meeting who responds to the, "Right that's all then, does anyone have anything to add...?" It''s a rhetorical question, we all want to go home, and your question is pointless. JUST LIKE YOU.

How to Motivate

I don't know why this just sprung to mind but I'm reading now about effective teaching methods and acquisition so maybe that's it, anyway, last summer I taught a six week long winter camp for university students. The students came every day from 9-1 and studied with three different teachers. It was a long and very intensive course but the students were extremely motivated. I was teaching them by getting them to create group projects, for example a news broadcast. It was high energy and a lot of work but they threw themselves into it and seemed to be learning a fair amount into the bargain. Well by the 5th week they were beginning to show signs of exhaustion. I decided to take a day out to do something a little different and light hearted: Swear words!

Their level was quite high, some were nearly fluent and everyone needs to at least know how to effectively use and understand such a salient part of our linguistic repertoire. What I'm saying is that there were genuine pedagogical motives behind the lesson, believe me or not.

I have never seen such a genuinely interested group of students. I have never before nor since seen so many students in one class take notes and ask so many questions. One thing that made them laugh was the fact that my face would turn a bright shade of crimson every time I said a swear word or had to explain the literal meaning to them, which totally led them to ask me more questions.

The best part of the lesson was teaching the flexibility of the "F" word. I handed out a list more than a page long of different situations in which the fascinating word can be used. We talked about the different emotions it conjures up. I showed a video which you no doubt have seen, or if you haven't here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUaWCcDlI5s

The class was only one hour in duration but I have never seen a group of students acquire a new grammatical or lexical item quite so fast. As the time was drawing to a close one of the students raised his hand:

Me: Yes?

Jin: Can we fucking go now?

Me ...

Jun: Yeah, I'm bloody hungry

Cain: Absofuckinglutely

Me: Don't you dare bloody swear in your other teachers' classes.

Jun: No fucking way.

I've never been so proud.

EDIT: as an aside, the two students on the left are not aware that their hand gesture is considered extremely insulting to many native English speakers, well they are now but they keep forgetting.

SNOW!!!!

I get very excited when it snows during the night and I wake up and look out the window and see the world is covered with shiny white virgin snow. I have to put on my boots and go outside and run around in it before anyone else does. Today was one of those days, except as I was happily froliking on the snow a big gust of wind blew the snow off the trees and covered me with white powder. Damn snow. I live on campus at the university where I teach and it is really pretty with trees and a little park so here are a couple of photos of the snow outside my apartment...

It's a Hard Life

The cat likes to play fetch. She has some cat toys with fluff that she likes me to throw across the room so she can fly after them and bring them back for me to throw again and again and again. She prefers scrunched up pieces of paper to her actual cat toys, except ones with fluff, and she loves the Korean apartment floor because she can slide across it. Is that normal? I've never heard of a cat playing fetch.

5.50 from Sindorim

I heard the announcement as I was transferring, we all did, even if I didn't understand Korean I would have known what it meant as everyone on their way to platform 4 sped up, some even started running up the stairs. The old and the weak were brushed aside. Survival of the fittest is what it's about on the 5.50 train from Sindorim to Dong Incheon. I followed, eager to catch the fast train too... only 6 an hour... must get up these stairs. "The fast train for Dong Incheon is now arriving." Nearly there... just.. a...few... more... quick! there's still space on the train, I'll fit. I do. Breathe. WHOAH! before I could catch myself I was being thrown further into the train, leaped upon by a giant wrestler. I turn my head and see, nothing. I look down and come face to face with my aggressor. about 60 with a defiant look on her face, before I get a chance to catch my feet she barges through more, relentlessly squashing all in her wake. It's over. The doors are closing, but NO!!!! hands grab onto the doors and push them open squeezing yet more bodies onto the carriage. more come. I am now wedged in the middle , body bent in an unnatural position, gasping for breath and glad I'm not short like the little man behind me. The woman looks pleased with herself. I wonder how I will ever get out.

Cat

The only food my cat ever begs for is fried chicken, actually thinking about it it's all chicken but I most frequently eat chicken in the fried form. She likes the one that has the slightly spicy breadcrumbs covering it. She will beg for the other kind, realise that it doesn't have the slightly spicy breadcrumbs and when you give it to her she will move it around a bit and leave it. Right now she is eating some chicken, actually her second piece of leftover slightly spicy chicken tender. Before that she ate a piece and in a moment she will miaow for one more. After that she will get an MSG rush, run around the room and try to climb the curtains for about 30 minutes. Then she will come down and hide under her chair.

Caution: Graphic Content

Well I have just arrived home from hospital after spending the night there as I had to have a minor op. Nothing serious so don't worry and I won't bore you with the gory details, I will, however share with you my experiences of the last 24 hours.

In the beginning I knew there was going to trouble as I'd lost all of my admittance papers and had to figure out a way to explain this to the nurses and hospital administration in my very limited Korean and a fair amount of mime. Starting off at information, Summer, who had thank goodness come with me to share in the experience, and I tried to explain to the poor girl behind the desk. Realising that we were getting nowhere we proceeded to the ward where I was supposed to be admitted. It took about one hour, 2 rides in elevators, and a team of 4 nurses, a social worker, a surgeon, an administrator and a nun to get me settled in. I had signed about 4 things, none of which I had the foggiest about and Summer had signed away something herself. Maybe to say that she is fine with giving me one of her kidneys should need be in the course of events. We were shuffled into a little exam room and I was given a lovely hospital outfit consisting of a button up top and a long skirt to wear. Sitting next to each other on the bench considering what was going to happen next Summer decidedly stated, "It's so not like Greys Anatomy."

hospitals in Korea are quite similar to British hospitals in the sense that you share a ward with about 8 people. I understand American hospitals are quite dissimilar and Americans tend to be quite shocked with this state of affairs. Well I was quite the celebrity. As soon as I was escorted to my bed the room fell silent, but for the whine of the young lady of the Korean Drama on the TV. Which, by the way, stayed on until about 1am. I was hooked up to an IV and Summer and I settled into a game or two of Rummikub.

My roommates were a mixed bag. There was a very very old lady who just slept for the whole time, a woman next to me who had more visitors than I could shake a stick at. Her husband stayed all night in a little bed next to her, he was the happiest man in all of the world and fascinated by our game. A young girl across from me who had clearly been there for a while and was getting quite sick and tired of it all. Her father also stayed all night with her. In Korean hospitals the family is expected to look after you, the patient. There are nurses but their jobs seem to be solely changing drips and administering drugs. Baths, getting food, drinks and general care is the job of the family and people are traiping in and out all day and night kids massaging mothers, husbands taking care of wives, it really did make you feel good to see so much care and love. There are also pull out beds under each bed for a friend or family to sleep on through the night. The Koreans were most concerned that my family was absent and one nurse exclaimed incredulously, "But who is going to look after you tomorrow?!" I assured her that my wonderful friend Gwen would be there and she would look after me. Unsure, the nurse accepted this with a questioning look. The woman next to me shouted at anyone who dared to get in between her and the TV, she was also the most interested in me, the strange white girl with no family.

All things considered I slept reasonably, awoke at 6am and was given a lovely new outfit to wear at 7am. I was wheeled to the operating room at 8.30 still rubbing sleep from my eyes. I was told that they would prepare "me" and then administer the anaesthetic which would make me fall asleep. OK all good. I'm not nervous. I'm going to be asleep. Well first of all "prepare me" meant they spreadeagled me on the table and tied my hands and legs down with cloths. I must admit I felt a little strange. then they pulled open my gown and saw my tattoos.Three very audible gasps followed by a Ohhh!! Ippuda!!! (meaning beautiful in Korean" Now, I am laying spreadeagled on an operating table with my limbs tied, half naked and being oohed! and ahhed! at by three nurses. I had to laugh. well after a while the doctor came in and the anaesthetic was administered. What followed was in the top ten of my most embarrassing moments. Right above accidentally stripping to my birthday suit when getting changed for PE in grade 2 because I was talking too much and not paying attention to what I was doing. I wasn't completely sleeping. I was very out of it but i was aware and i could feel a bit so I started to worry and kept saying, "I can feel I don't want to be awake, I need more drugs..." The nurse at my side was stoking my leg saying "It's OK, don't worry, It's OK" Except I didn't hear her voice or see her, I saw and heard one of my best friends and declared, "I love you!" it slowly dawned on me what I had done and tried then in my delirious state to explain. mortified. The nurse completely didn't understand my drugged ramblings and I settled for trying to convince myself that she must have seen and heard a few crazy rantings in her time in the ER.

Well Gwen was waiting for me when I came out so I could share my embarrassment. The rest of the day has been spent lost in translation until eventually Gwen's husband Mike arrived. Mike can speak Korean. You should have seen the look of relief on the administrator's face.

It was so not like Greys; it was totally MASH.

A Dream Come True

Something I've always wanted to do ever since I was teeny tiny is to climb The Great Wall of China. As my Mum can attest to: What Sarah wants, Sarah gets. (well, except Gavin Lockhart in grade 10). So here I am. Last week I walked 10km along the wall and didn't fall off. Not for lack of trying.

Lack of Inner Monologue

My friend Mike is Stanley Tucci. You know? The guy in The Terminal: Tom Hanks, gets stuck in an airport terminal because the US won't let him in and he can't go back to his home country blah blah... The terminal boss guy Stanley Tucci. He's also a cop in Lucky Number Slevin. A much better movie so if you were going to choose go for that one. I digress. My friend Mike is Stanly Tucci. Well he is identical, and not in the way that a handful of people in my life have told me that I look like Natalie Portman kind of way, he REALLY looks like Stanley.

When I first met Mike I was working in a school and he walked into the teachers' room. The first thing I said to him was, "Oh my god you look just like that guy! You know the guy? The guy from that movie!" Turning to other teachers, "What's the name of that guy? Oh my God you look just like him!!!" To which Mike's response was, "..." and everyone else just seemed to go quiet as the uncomfortable silence just hung over my head like a bad smell.

The thing is Mike thinks it was our other friend Ivan who did this. Well all I remember is when I was talking there was a little voice, clear as a bell, in my head saying, "that's it, you've done it again. Lack of inner monologue. And now you have to work with this guy." Well I want to thank Mike for being my friend and even going so far as to not remember that it was my foot in my mouth.